Evvvvv-il Meets His Match
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: Max and Ella crack shipping. You know you want to. Cuteness, evilness and tomatoes.


**A/N.** _ wrote this like, over a month ago but never put it up. So here we go.  
_

_CRACK SHIPPING! This is my only Pakitew Island crack ship. As for actual shipping, Dave and Sky is horrible and should never happen. Ella deserves better than Dave. But Jasmine and Shawn was pretty cute._

_Anyway, Max and Ella.  
It's beautiful - *sniff*.  
_

_I think Max needs to be around someone sweet like Ella. So his evil-ness can fail even more than it already does._

* * *

**Evvvv-il meets His Match  
**

* * *

"It's time to evvvv-il." Max started narrating his evil plan, although there was no Scarlett around to hear it, not anymore. He was at an after party for the show and he wasn't expecting his former sidekick to show, not after overhearing something about her being too mentally unstable for promo events and the like.

"What I will do, is I will take this tomato of doom here, and place it on the seat beside me ENSURING that whoever sits down here will get a very red, mushy tushie. Mwhahahahaha."

The party needed some evil to spice it up. So far the only thing that constituted 'evil' as he saw it, was Sugar trying to cram her tongue down the Wizard's throat. And that was more highly disturbing that evvv-il.

"Ah yes, an unsuspecting victim of evvvvvvv-il."

Max spotted Ella flitting up to him with a beaming smile on her face.

"Sit, sit," Max told her while rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

Ella sat ever so slightly on the tomato, barely bruising the fruit as she delicately perched upon it.

"Oh hello Max. I've been meaning to talk to you!" Ella clasped her hands together and Max saw something weird dancing in her eyes. But no matter, he needed that infernal tomato to pop!

"Yes, yes. I've been meaning to talk to you too..." Whatever he had to say to get her to stay put... and why wasn't it breaking? Surely her weight should cause it to pop by now! "CURSE YOU INFERNALLY TOUGH TOMATO SKIN!"

Ella ignored his outburst. "Oh, you have? How wonderful! I wanted to say how awful it was that Scarlett tried to kill you... repeatedly. I know she was your girlfriend."

"She was my sidekick. Nothing more. And she reeked of the failure of evvvv-il. Only I can be truly evil." He glared daggers at the tomato under her. "Pop you disobedient fruit!"

But apparently Ella had something else on her mind, because she just went on talking. "And I was rather disappointed seeing David in the finale. To think he could be so bitter and jealous and not at all princely. I don't know what I was thinking letting my heart be so easily broken by him."

"One day, he, like all others will bow before my evvv-il," Max replied absently.

"So I discovered that perhaps what I am looking for is not a prince, but a knight."

Max was only partially listening, he was more focused on what he can do to get the tomato to break. "Curses!"

"And then when you came in to save the day and the island from blowing up, thanks to Scarlett, you were so knightly."

"I was what now?"

"You were so brave and fearless the way you went in there to face her."

"Uhh, thank you?" Max knew something was happening here. Ella was getting all weird all of a sudden and gushing and praising him... but he'd been so focused on the fruit under her that he hadn't been paying enough attention.

Ella suddenly took his hands, and Max by complete surprise. She leant forward to kiss him delicately on the cheek.

Max's face went red and he began to get flustered and indignant. Why was she kissing him? And why wasn't that infernal fruit breaking?!

"And I was hoping that, Noble Max, you could become my heroic knight."

Now Max was starting to piece it together.

"Are you trying to get me to be your bodyguard? Evvvv-il is nobody's bodyguard!"

"No, no, no," Ella corrected him quickly. "I don't want you to be my bodyguard, I want you to be my boyfriend, my knight, my sweetheart."

Was this girl out of her mind? She had to be! He wasn't heroic! He was evvvv-il. And evvvv-il did not date (and was nobody's sweetheart for that matter)!

"I," Max gestured to himself, "Am an evvv-il genius. I do not have the time for such common practices as dating. The point of evvv-il is to rue! Rue! And will that rue-ing get done if I have to run after you?"

Ella giggled. "Oh Max. You're so silly. And besides, just because we're dating doesn't mean you still can't have hobbies."

Hobbies? Evvv-il was less a hobby and more a lifestyle choice, Max believed. "Be that as it may..." and he knew he was irresistible to the ladies but didn't they get that evil would always be his mistress - his lady love.

But then he was met with pure innocence. Those sad big puppy dog eyes. And he felt himself caving in, just the slightest bit.

"Curses!" For reasons other than the tomato this time.

Ella grasped his hands tighter. "You've made me so happy, my gentle knight."

It seems evvvv-il could have a sweet, pretty girlfriend after all. But Max wasn't going to make a big deal about it. Ella would have to know that she would always come in second when it came to evvvvv-il. "That may be so, but evvv-il is not a hobby, it is a life-"

He didn't get to finish the sentence. She kissed him properly this time, full on the lips. Something completely new to Max and not entirely unpleasant.

"Evvvv-il could get used to this new arrangement."

Ella smiled at him and got up from the tomato, about to start a song, where Max with a dreamy expression stared after her.

He barely heard the sound effect of squelching until Beardo sat beside him, tomato innards going everywhere, and splashing Max's evil jumpsuit.  
"Nooooooooooooooooooo!"

Evvvv-il not only had a girlfriend, evvvv-il had to put on a load of washing too.  
Drat.

* * *

_It seemed like a good idea at the time. Haha.  
_


End file.
